Things To Know Before You Say “I Do!” (2)by Pastor Faith Oyedepo, Week 3, October, 2008

Dear Reader,

Last Week, I showed you how to lay foundation on the Rock. This Week, I will teach on Accepting Marital Responsibilities.

Marriage has responsibilities attached to it. Both the man and the woman must co-operate in fulfilling their responsibilities, so that the home can be sustained. Negligence on the part of either party can affect the sustenance of the home. Co-operation, therefore, is a necessity. The wife, for instance, should submit to her husband in the home, be chaste, respectful and pure in her conversation. She should keep her home, making it a conducive place for the Holy Spirit to dwell.

The man on the other hand, must play a leadership role in the home, make provision for his family and train his children in the way of the Lord. When both the man and the woman play their roles well, it becomes easy for the home to be sustained. No storm of life will be able to destabilize their home, because the force of agreement will be in operation.

In case one of the parties does not co-operate in fulfilling his/her own responsibilities, the other party should not use that as an excuse for negligence. The faithful party should fulfill his/her own part, live a life that speaks and then prayerfully seek guidance from God on how to go about carrying out other things! Let’s look at some of the responsibilities:

The Love Responsibility

Before you say “I do”, it is therefore, important for you to know your individual responsibility in marriage. As a husband, you are to love your wife. It is not an admonition or suggestion; it is God's instruction to be obeyed whether convenient or not, the nature of your wife notwithstanding. Among your vows in marriage, you willingly said before witnesses that you would love her. God's instruction therefore, for husbands is to love their wives in spite of their short comings and errors. God’s Word says: Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). For those of you who are married, you may say, “You don't know my wife, she doesn't submit to me. “Are you sure it is her fault and not yours? A good leader will always get submissive followers.

If you are already married and your love for your wife is not in place, you need to ask God to rekindle the love for your wife in your heart, because according to God's Word, the love for ones wife must come next after the love for God (Ephesians 5:28-29). Someone said, “Love is not love until it is expressed'' God's love for humanity found expression in the giving of Jesus. Let love find expression in your thoughts, words and actions. If you truly love your wife it will reflect in how you talk to her. Abusive and critical languages do not show love but the opposite. Some others can't say “I love you'' to their wives; it's like five years ago since they last said it. This shouldn't be so. A woman will always like to hear her husband say, “I love you”.

The Submission Responsibility

You must never enter into marriage, if you know you are not ready to submit to your husband. There are no two drivers in a car. A person drives, while the passengers follow along. They can only point out things the driver may have overlooked, or feel he needs to watch out for; but the steering wheel is still in the driver’s hands. This is why God’s Word declares: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22).

Wives are admonished to be submissive to their wherever you have a driver and passenger fighting to turn the steering wheel of a car in motion, the only thing to expect is an accident. Patiently, and quietly point out or make suggestions to your husband in the spirit of humility, not by arrogant or abusive words. It is the mouth of some wives that have caused the break-up in their homes, but a gentle word can calm the toughest of men (Proverbs 15:1). Submission is absolute. Don't dodge it because it is a term of the covenant of marriage.

Having said this much, are you born again? If not you can't enjoy the benefits God has for you in marriage. If you are not born again, it's not possible to fulfill your marital responsibility. To be born again means to surrender your life to Christ by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I am a sinner. I cannot help myself. Forgive me my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan, to serve the Living God. From today, I accept You are my Lord and Saviour. Thank You Jesus for saving me! Now, I know I am born again. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:

E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com Tel. No: 234-1-7747546-8;

For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Book Stores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian book stores:

- Marriage Covenant

- Making Marriage Work

- Building a Successful Family

- Single With A Difference

- Success in Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo).